{2010}

I really think that 2010 sucked eggs if you will, for one it took my daddy, he was sick on and off most of the year and that is enough to make it a not so good year for me.  I have been dwelling on the "negative" here these days and probably will for awhile, that is where I am in life right now, I just am, don't like it, don't want to be here, but I am and I accept it's part of grieving, it's painful, ohhh so painful, I miss him so much it hurts, it will be a week this evening that he passed away, wow the time has flown.  The kids started back to school this morning, to be honest I was ready, they were getting on my nerves, they didn't mean to, their struggling too, their break wasn't all fun and games like it should have been, (bless their hearts) it doesn't take much to irritate me though, I irrate me, ha! I have been looking forward to the peace and quiet of my house, even though I am working from home just knowing I am alone is going to be good for me, I enjoy being alone to be honest with you, not that I want to wallow in my own sadness, but I can if I want to huh?  I am learning to allow myself whatever feelings I want to have, no fighting them, holding back, being strong, what  a process this is, after I am through working I am meeting my mom and sister to start packing up my dad's apartment, everything is just so difficult, but we're doing it, we'll get there, all in time, all in time...