Tuesday, June 14, 2011
With Father's Day approaching I am kinda dreading it, this will be my first FD without my sweet daddy, I can still remember last years and we had so much fun, I remember it so clearly, the laughs, the special lunch we had, the desserts he loves, I am certainly glad to have those wonderful memories, but it really saddens me to celebrate this day without him. I want to celebrate my husband and make it special for him on behalf of my children, and I do have some fun things in mind, it just won't be the same, I do plan to visit his grave, oh how I hate saying that, it doesn't sound right, I miss him so much. I went to his grave on Easter and it's just so painful, feelings are still so raw, there are times I want to avoid really sad situations because it can literally be so painful, my whole body hurts, sometimes I just can't do it. Overall, I am doing good, but when I start thinking too much about when he was sick or about the night he past away I just fall apart, but I am handling it better than I thought I would, I rely on my God for strenth, he is the best shoulder to cry on, is always there, and is a constant source of love and support, and that is enough for me.