We are burying my dad today, I could think of a million other things I would rather be doing, I am so sad, numb, but I am okay, it's amazing with God on your side how it makes things easier to handle, it's true I have always said how do people do it without Christ in their life, how do you get through?? I am glad I have him, and now my dad is with him, and even though I am selfish and want him back, I know where he is, and he is whole again, I love my daddy so much and I miss him with every fiber of my being. I have an amazing family, what would we do without each other??? Thank you for all your sweet, uplifting comments, it means so much.
We are getting ready to leave Santa his cookies and milk, and then get hopefully kids will be ready for bed soon because Santa doesn't like to be up too late (wink wink) ! Merry Christmas my bloggy friends!
I can't believe I was writing such a positive blog post yesterday and that by the end of the day my life was once again taking a negative turn, my daddy of course is the subject. He is sick, he cannot be fixed, medicene can only do so much, doctors can only do so much, we as a family can only do so much, his damaged ol' heart, that damned injured heart of his, leaking valves, weak heart muscle, damn the whole thing. I am so frustrated, he's too young, doesn't even look 65 years old, he's the fun Papa that all the grandkids wants to be with all the time, to ride in his old blue truck, to go to McDonalds with, to tell them scary stories about shark bites (his old open heart scars) he is such a strong force in the family, he is and will always be the funniest man I know, I love getting his advice, I want his advice, I love talking to him, I don't want to lose him, what will my life be like without him, I don't want to know, I am not ready, but yet I don't want him to suffer anymore, how can such a precious hearted man have such a sick heart, it's not right, it doesn't make since, why did he have to take such a terrible turn, why are we doing this again, it's too much...
I am definently in the Christmas spirit, my heart is full, the house is festive, the baking has started, the kids are home and have visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, the shopping is almost done, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year!
This years decorating was a bit more minimal than normal, due to everything that is going on in my life right now I had decided not to stress about "perfectness" as long as the Christmas spirit is in my house is all that matters. I had also decided not to purchase anything new for decorating, I really wanted to go with what I had, and it all turned out just fine, no stress, like I need more huh??!! haha My wreath here is home to Mr. Reindeer, I have had him for about 8 years and never used him, I thought I would try him out here and he fit just perfect and the kids think he is cute! And everything else is stuff I had and I just got creative and put settings together and I am really proud of everything. The candle below is from B&Body I was buying some gifts and thought I deserved a little something and I LOVE the smell of Evergreen, it is wonderful, I even put it by my desk yesterday while I was working, it says Christmas to me!
Busy day ahead for me, I'm sure I am preaching to the choir, it's a busy time of year, but also a fun one! I am now working my part time hours so I am done at noon, not a bad gig huh? I then need to head to Discount Tire to have tires aired properly, they are slightly off, so the light tells me so... anywho, then Cameron gets out at 1 because he is done with finals for day, then he will run around with me to finish my ventures. Hannah has her class party tomorrow so I need to get juice boxes for that, and post office to get those cards out, yeah, love that completed task! A bit about dad, he is basically doing pretty good, he amazes us all, he is still under hospice care, we just take the good when we get it, we just never know, as usual prayers appreciated. Well, I need to start up my computer and get ready for work, it's a hard life, I may even wear my robe to work :)
Last night as I was laying in bed with Hannah as she was going to sleep she said "I don't really like Mondays" why? I asked, she responded with "because it's the beginning of everything new, new spelling words, new math facts, new everything, I like Fridays because we finish everything". I thought about that in depth because that is exactly how life can be sometimes, we don't always like the uncertain, we like the familiar, don't throw anything unfamiliar my way because it's too risky feeling. Where I am going with this has alot to do with my father's situation, everything is so uncertain right now and has been for quite sometime now and to be honest it's really tough, and you have to learn to take what you can get and just handle it from there. As I have said numerous times it's all in God's hands, his timing, his plan, not ours, and that can be hard to not have more control, period. It's just hard right now, that's all there is to it, this morning as I was talking with my sister she was giving me the report from last night with dad and I just cried as she told me, it was nothing bad, just hard, he is not the same person and I want that person back.
I finally watched Eclipse last night, and it did not disappoint! When I started on my Twilight journey Eclipse has just come out and after hearing all the hoopla from all my friends about how great and how much fun they had seeing it in their groups, wearing t-shirts, just having a great time I decided to check it out and sure enough I was hooked! a friend of mine had all the books and movies, so after each book I would watch the movie, but E was the only one I had not seen and I had been looking forward to it, but I had finished it back in the summer, so it has been awhile for me, so now I am all caught up with all the Twihards and will be ready for Breaking Dawn next year!
Just wanted to check in and say hello! I have been so incredibly busy, blogging has had to take a backseat, and I have missed it! My dad is still hanging in there, meaning, still no better, no worse, which is very hard, it has been so emotional, we are all just numb, but continue to pray reverently, our God is an awesome God, always! I also started training this week for a work at home job, this has been a long time in the works, remember alooooong time ago I said good things were on the horizon for me, well, it took awhile, but they came and I couldn't be happier, I will be working for the (DOL) Dept. of Labor as a customer serv. rep, I will work 4 hours a day while kids are in school, it will be just perfect for me and my family. That is about all the time I have for now as I need to eat some dinner and report for night duty at my dad's house, have a great weekend and do something Christmasy!!!
I am a stay at home mom to 2 wonderful kids and wife to my husband Jim, I have MS (multiple sclerosis) but fight it everyday! I am a true Texan born and bred! I enjoy cooking, baking, the holidays, watching movies with my kids, drinking coffee & reading! Thanks for reading Coffee with Me.