Coffee With Me

I can't believe I was writing such a positive blog post yesterday and that by the end of the day my life was once again taking a negative turn, my daddy of course is the subject.  He is sick, he cannot be fixed, medicene can only do so much, doctors can only do so much, we as a family can only do so much, his damaged ol' heart, that damned injured heart of his, leaking valves, weak heart muscle, damn the whole thing.  I am so frustrated, he's too young, doesn't even look 65 years old,  he's the fun Papa that all the grandkids wants to be with all the time, to ride in his old blue truck, to go to McDonalds with, to tell them scary stories about shark bites (his old open heart scars) he is such a strong force in the family, he is and will always be the funniest man I know, I love getting his advice, I want his advice, I love talking to him, I don't want to lose him, what will my life be like without him, I don't want to know, I am not ready, but yet I don't want him to suffer anymore, how can such a precious hearted man have such a sick heart, it's not right, it doesn't make since, why did he have to take such a terrible turn, why are we doing this again, it's too much...