{A Special Day}

Yesterday would have been my dad's 66th birthday, I honestly didn't know how to "be" that day, but I knew I didn't want to "wallow" in it, it's just not how I felt, it didn't feel honest.  I just wanted to take it as it came, planning to be sad or depressed just didn't feel right.  We had a great life with my dad and he died because he was sick, his heart was sick, we did everything we could to make him better, but nothing else could be done, his death was not a shock, we knew at a certain point he was not going to get better.  I am not saying it was easy at all, it was devastating, and I still can't believe he is gone and not coming back to us, not a day goes by that I dont' want to call and tell him something funny so we could laugh together, he had a great sense of humor and laughing with him was such a highlight. 

Yesterday morning at church we sang alot of Christmas songs and Jim and I just cried, Hannah knew how we felt and she felt it too, she looked up at me and said "momma, I miss Papa", and she cried, we held her close, we all felt it without having to say any words.  But in the midst of sadness I still just praised God through song, I felt happiness and sadness all at the same time, smiling through tears, all I can say is it was God...

We had our church Christmas musical last night and we had Doyle Dykes and Babbie Mason as our guest, they were so talented, and such a wonderful addition to our musical.  They gave us a taste in the morning service of what they would do in the evening and it was going to be fantastic.  I was so excited, I could not imagine a better place I would want to be than at church in the presence of God celebrating the Christmas season.  God does know what we need and when we need it, he was so with me yesterday, leading me all the way, I like to think it was just he and I yesterday, I had a good day, thank you God for being you...